Here in the midwest, February is the perfect month for love, as all of us are ready for some warmth and comfort! With Valentine's Day just around the corner, we may experience a stronger desire to focus on loving or being loved. It is likely exciting if we are already in a loving relationship that we can enjoy. Those who may not currently have a "significant other" in their lives, may see Valentine's Day in a whole different light. Of course, to intentionally make time for love and celebrate that in whatever form speaks to us, is a wonderful thing--whether it comes in the form of gifts, candy, flowers, special meals, self-care or intimate moments. Yet, no matter how sweet or satisfying, this is but a strand in the true web of Love that we live in, in every moment.
I make the case that there are two and only two states: we are either loved or loving.
What do I mean by that? In the times when we are loving, we may be sharing that love with our children, spouse, partner, the earth, a friend or situation, and we feel full. We feel joy, freedom and ease, positivity and satisfaction. We feel light and expansive. In other words, in those moments that we fully give our love, we do not feel emptiness, lack, or negativity. We aren't experiencing a need to be loved when we ourselves are loving. (Unless of course we come to a situation with an empty cup. In that case, we need to love ourselves first that we might give our overflow joyfully away.) To go even deeper, the more we align with Original Love, the more we actually become love. When we are loving, we ARE Love. We are whole, complete and limitless. We feel a part of everything and everyone. This is what loving means. Think about it. Bringing your full presence and "beingness" to the throes of loving openly, honestly and generously, you transcend all earthly needs and become a part of the timeless stream of Infinite Love. Wow.
Then of course, there are those moments that we fall out of that state of loving. By virtue of our own humanity, we all must face these moments in life. (They really do have a purpose, but I'll address that later.) We might feel sad, down, disappointed, frustrated, confused, let down or cheated. We might be sick, jobless, or alone. I believe that in these moments, we are Loved and that Divine love comes to support us as the love we cannot momentarily embody. We may not be cognizant of being Loved as we focus more on our issues and challenges than the subtle energy of Love that is there for us, yet it is there. If you can wrap your mind (and heart) around this, you may come to realize as I have, that there are only two states: either loved or loving. This thought alone can trip your Love switch ON! How beautiful this feels when I sit with it. That I, and you, are always suspended in an infinite web of love. We are always either in need of love, and in those times we are in the state of being Loved, and when we are freely the giver of love, we feel lightness and timelessness in a way that allows us to be pure loving.
Let me now address how our challenging times may not be all bad. I once heard a very wise, well studied and reverent gentleman say that we are so loved by the Divine, that challenges come into our lives just so we can grow and call on Divine love to help us. If we were never challenged then we would become complacent, entitled, or bored with comfort and security. At first blush, you might disagree, but I see the wisdom here. As difficult as it might be to agree, don't most of us call on a higher power when we hit the big roadblocks of life? Those can be seen as opportunities to refine our relationship with our own self as well a higher power. Often, we can see it this way once we get a bit of distance from the actual events. In essence, if we stretch our way of thinking, visualizing or perceiving our challenges, we may empower ourselves to intentionally stay bound to the love that always awaits us.
So as you go forward into Valentine's Day and beyond, whatever your situation with loved ones, keep in mind this simple thought. You are either Loving or Loved. You cannot escape that truth. You and I are in the web of Love that is Eternal and Universal. Let everyone be your Valentine this year! Spend some moments on the 14th, being grateful for the greater vista of Love, knowing that you are always held in it, surrounded by it, and just like your own shadow, always connected to it. How will you answer the question in the title, ARE YOU LOVING OR LOVED? My heart's desire is that in your own time and in your own way you will come to know the answer.